| Nile |
[
August 18th - 21:46
] |
| [ |
mood |
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 very sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
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HSM2 |
] |
RIP
I dont even no this person well n im crying. Y? I think God is showing me something. You dont have 2believen in him but his presence is becoming clear 2me at this moment.
i cant type anymore....
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| Jump on the Train |
[
August 8th - 23:06
] |
| [ |
mood |
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 frustrated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Daily Show |
] |
All I got to say:
My biggest problem (or two) is 1: People trying to make an ass out of you; and 2: worrying bout it later.
If your not going to explain stuff clear shut the fuck up. That felt better. I like you but I will mess the hell out of you if you do it again.
Is it just me or did any of you had flashback to Brinson's class today?
In other news Im doing pretty good in my AP classes (except US history...I got like a B in there) Considering we dont get grades in english and pollack is easy.
Do people like mean people? I guest they do...ill try it out.
Hope 2morrow b a better day.
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| Past-changing |
[
July 12th - 22:45
] |
| [ |
mood |
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not good at all |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Daily Show |
] |
Am I the only one that thinks about things that were said to you/me in the past and ask why why why then comes to the realization(i no...spelled wrong maybe) that you cant change what the insenitive people n d world do? yep and u alwayz go back to asking why why why and it doesnt make you feel any better. Like this not making me feel any better. idk why. i have to keep myself buzy.
I can check every single thing in the 17mag about this problem but that doesnt solve ur problems.
Movies I want to see:
Transformers
Harry Potter
Hairspray.
-------in that order
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| President? Maybe.... |
[
May 28th - 18:47
] |
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mood |
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 thinking |
] |
| [ |
music |
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ET:Entertainment Tonight |
] |
If I ran for Junior Class President....if....will you vote for me and help me get votes?
And it's a big if....
You know...for a long time in 10th grade I thought people left their middle school "acts" in MIDDLE SCHOOL...well...reflecting back on this past year they didnt. I mean, I like my outspoken mouth and stuff but come on...I, at least to the people I care for, know the limits in what should be said. And most people do. I wouldnt go up to a person who mom died and say, "Yo momma" cause that's disrespectful.
And like different stuff disrespectful people said to me, for example in band (andrew knows bc i was pissed), really bothers me bc there was no need to say it. I wouldnt walk up to this person and say that people thinks he/she a gay fag and thats why no one likes him/her bc they are a uptight butt liking bitch. NO. Cause that's disrespectful. And i found myself not saying anything. AND I DONT NO WHY!!! Like i said, i am outspoken but when i feel my face burning i no im going to lose control and stop thinking. But i do confess a few months later i call them a quote "Little Bitch". 5x. No more problems there...
No one loves to be hated, so why hate other people? Why say stuff to cause a sense of hate towards one self? It all has to do w/being mature and only a hand full of people this school season was.
Im sure ill think of some other stuff later...
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| Yummy... |
[
May 26th - 22:38
] |
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mood |
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 Nervous about SATS!!! |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Old Real World from 2002 (Vegas) |
] |
I saw a Greek God yesterday....
And no matter what im going to find a way to babysit his children...
Cause i love kids of course....
And o i cut my hair. It looks much more even now but shorter. It grow over d summer. Had to get it out of d way for dem SATS!!!!
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| Chemical Inbalance an Honors Night... |
[
May 17th - 21:30
] |
| [ |
mood |
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 very confused and worried |
] |
| [ |
music |
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TV: Grey's |
] |
Since no one will update on this thing ill start.
So tonight was honor's night, a bore as usual. I think i hurt someone's feelings but the only reason i did it b/c they were putting themselves down. I hate it when people are around me and start talking bad about themselves and expect you to say, "O no you look fine." I like to be unexpecting with my answers. For example a girl was saying at a lunch table , "Im fat i need to lose wait look at me". So i called them a fat ass. They were not where near it but they realize how dumb they were acting and shut up. I totally miss Jessie joke at honor night when i mention something about her attire. That's why i was kind of staring in space until everyone was looking at my boobs which was kind of gay. Im glad we're this open with each other b/c if yall was some other unknown girl it will be weird. Rebecca finally told me what Jessie said, which was even gayer and really wasnt that ummm funny? But jessie is cool. i thought i had shit on my boobs or something the way yall or whoever was there laughing. wow lets talk about dry laugihng. This added on to my imbalance. Gayness was all around tonight.
You know, it's getting old w/the racist comments. For real i dont go around everyday and talk about white people. Today was kind of like, ok, since he said it other people are going to think is right for them to say it. It's kind of like the Nich Cannon movie "underclassmen"(which was really dumb) the jokes get old and im sick of it. This added on to my imbalance in my head. Lately i have been tired, and letting stuff get to me when sometimes the comments arent even, bad. Idk it like im worrying and getting upset and stuff and my face and inside are buring w/what i guess is ?embrassment? idk. Then i ask myself what's wrong and im not getting an answer.
Im tired and i got 1000 pages to read.
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| No Balls |
[
April 19th - 22:27
] |
|
"Dont screw over the teacher pet" -The Shit Licker
Sorry, i dont screw over, I fuck over.
Ouch.
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| I Really Need Not to Worry |
[
April 16th - 17:49
] |
| [ |
mood |
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crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Maury |
] |
Here I am worrying about my problems(SAT, friends, schedule, etc) and all of these people got murdered at VT.
It's hard not to get over ourself......but you still worry.
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| The Tudors(did Henry look that good?) and Flagline |
[
April 9th - 20:15
] |
| [ |
music |
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Dancing w/the Stars...i miss Mario's butt |
] |
Carolyn=tired
So coming back to school was boring and some events during that day make me vent to a friend a few minutes ago so I fell aight.
I love making Melaine laugh in 1st period. Your face is funny (in a good way) :)
("Lets pause and tell ya the whole scence right now young people")
I finish reading F451 in 2nd period.
3rd period and noted in the second line.
a good talk w/my mexican slave Rebecca in band (involving "The Tudors"----going to record it for her)If you want a copy I can see what I can do. Those who have watch it how do you feel about it? (also involving somthing i think everyone is thinking.....)
Flagline was kind of "slow" fooooooor me.....also very aggravating. We need ONE TEACHER TO TEACH US CORRECT MOVES AND STEPS INSTEAD OF 40 DISAGREEING ON HOW THE RIGHT WAY TO DO IT. POINT BLANK. END OF STORY. IM NOT GETTING IN THAT GROUP ANYMORE...THIS WHAT HAPPEN TO ME LAST YEAR.
I had an "movement of enlightment"(fill in a vocab word)------everyone at some point are going to "not like their friends" or friend in my case for a period of time. but they have their flaws and i hope they realize that today. I also have minebut i know when to stop and not make people feel "weird" or "less" and another person's case. And this is going to be an "ass in your face" movement: I know...in the past 10weeks yes, the people i see on a daily bases im talking about you so dont doubt, has been talk about by their friends. Even me(but not in a "so negative" way as im talking about. Im not here to ruin friendships or anything but im sick of it. People who in my mind i thought were reallly close friends talk about the other person(except for one person and if you ask me ill tell you) Yes friends do stuff thats dumb and yes you might disagree but dont be two faced. please dont b/c if it happens again im bursting someonesbubble. (im not so much talking about the people on LJ (but some of you i am) but mostly their "friend" that i know for a fact talk about them. (and no, this was that part of me and my mexican slave talk....so dont come to an conclusion)
Words of Teen Wisdom by Carolyn who is still learning herself....
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| Ones and Thoughts |
[
March 10th - 21:03
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Robin Thicke: Got 2B Down and R Kells: Flirt |
] |
Yeah so i still cant believe we made ones...Wow.
I hope we dont do any thing for a month..lol
So something is bothering me and I dont know why and I really want it to stop. There's really nothing i can do about it b/c the person doesnt want to make the effort.(and yes i have tried.) but i one day away from giving up.o well. maybe a miracle will happen.
I look at the Prince of Egypt 2day....yess....
maybe going 2c 300 Friday...
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| Anna Anna Anna Anna Anna Anna Nicole is so outragous.... |
[
February 8th - 21:01
] |
| [ |
mood |
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 content and weird |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
TV: CSI and robin thicke: wanna love you girl |
] |
The only sad part about her death is that little girl.
My theories on how she died...
1. The heart break and stress of her son dieing and the DNA battle over her daughter.
2. Trim-Spa baby.....
3. Drugs( legal and non legal)
4. That lawyer guy killed her(the one she was going out with) or her ex that claims the little girl is his.
I think these are pretty good thoughts. It was very shocking. Very. It's strange. Very. That's one reason I want to be a CSI person-thingy....I find this stuff interesting....
On a better note im going to the black-crunk flavorful circus tomorrow aka Universoul Circus. :)
i missed Robin Thicke on TRL today...i cried....lol
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| I like 'em Thicke |
[
February 4th - 20:53
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm and thinking |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Superbowl and "Lost w/out you"-Robin Thicke |
] |
To make this offical im in love w/his music...
Robin Thicke, who i thought was black, is great. :)
|
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| Thoughts and Conclusion |
[
December 21st - 2:41
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Pretty Ricky: Hotline |
] |
Before I get to my thoughts I will just like to say the the chem test was hard as hell. If I skipped something i just put a letter i haven't, used in a while. Yeah that whole middle section i was bsing it all.
Anyway, while doing these "winter assignments", i had alot of thoughts that i had locked up in my head came out. I was just thinking of all the stuff i was put threw 1st semester. How I put my foot in my mouth by thinking someone was one way and found out that they still haven't matured sinced the 7th grade. I think that's what's really hurting me now. "o man they changed so much we are like siblings"(what a dumb ass i was) But you know what? I just hate phony people. That's my problem. I put up with it and it comes back to bite me in the ass. And when it bites me in my ass I end up like i am know...having to put up w/it. And why may i ask I fell like i cant hurt people's feeling when they do it to me all the time? Im not saying that im going to say mean stuff to unexpected people. Just dumb ass people.
Dumb people, phony people, and the jackass that comes back.
ps/im not talking about any of you by the way, I need to surround myself w/more of you. Carefree.
I need to drink. So I can say f*** you and have an excuse for it in the morning.lol
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|
| *shakes* |
[
December 10th - 22:24
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
nervous |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Soul Food |
] |
Im a nervous wreak.
I really want to make Honor Band. I work hard for it. 3 months. I cant function.
I hope the Lord answered my prayers.
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|
| I need to Breathe |
[
December 7th - 3:43
] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sick and tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
mtv |
] |
Im sick of it. Im to my breaking point. Im not even making excuses for this anymore. Im tired of not breathing. Im tired of being....being..."held up" by myself to not hurt other people. Im tired. Not just tired, sick. Sick and Tired.
So yep, People i dont even know is hating on me. Im not just saying that b/c you know, there's people around the school who claims everyone hates on them. But yes i have haters. I dont even no there name. but this is not what really is bothering me. I can handle them. Im so freakin pissed. I need angermangement. Im really to the level where if you say to wrong thing to me u r going to get cuss out. Im afriad to go 2school 2morrow. Not b/c of other people but b/c of myself. I cant take this shit anymore. NO MORE!!!!
|
|
| Downhill from here |
[
November 16th - 2:59
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pessimistic n mad as hell |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Hip Hop awards |
] |
I knew, ooo i just knew, my night was going downhill when Mario didnt win dancing w/the stars...
(that pissed me off)
U know what's worst than liars? Liars who lie about their lies and lie my saying ur the bad person in the problem. That just pisses me OFF. My time and "effort was wasted tonight". I have BETTER and BIGGER things to do then play games w/little boyz. I feel like someone stabbed my in my throat for 45mins. plus 5. I know, i think the past 3 updates have been about evil a--holes. I need 2take up boxing.
grrrrr..........why why why.........
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| The only person i want to be like is Carolyn L.Lee...Thank you very much |
[
November 15th - 2:29
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pissed/flirty |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Dancing w/the Stars(Super Mario!!!) |
] |
Emily, I feel ya pain. I wish people or "a person" who go away far a while.
I mean, If you going to say something, make sure ur being talked to or that it relates to the topic. I think, even though it's hard to believe, that i whole my tongue too much. But If i do say someting it would be heartbreaking.
Mario Lopez dancing tonight made me feel better. whew...OOO mario....
|
|
| fake does not equal like |
[
November 2nd - 23:02
] |
| [ |
mood |
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angry |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
106 and Park |
] |
Fake people get on my nerves....
Can i get a hell yeah?!
|
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| |
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] |
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usherandcarolyn's journal
